In service we find strength - and maybe a cup of tea?
There are few things in the realm of "first world problems" that I loathe more than a trip to a mall. You can pretty much get me to do just about anything OTHER than go to one. This is a lifelong aversion the origin of which I have not the time nor inclination to decipher, let alone fix thanks to online shopping. Those close to me accept (or just deal) with the fact that it is just part of my make-up, right alongside the part that says the creamer goes in the coffee cup BEFORE the coffee and when you have eaten enough - though both words are correct, you are SATED, not satiated.
However - recently I visited a mall. I drove myself there! I volunteered to go! I spent a good two hours there.
I went there for a couple of reasons, I needed lint roller refills and a mall is a great place to take an elderly person for a walk in the cold of winter.
My mother-in-law, who has lived with us since 2006 and has needed care on an ever-increasing level since about 2010 - needed the walk. This day in particular (January in New Jersey) it was seasonably cold, but for a 94 year old - it is bitter enough to keep one indoors. So no stroll around the neighborhood was appropriate - she needed an indoor venue to stretch her legs, see other people and maybe get a treat.
The mall - however distasteful to me - offers some other advantages besides climate control. There are a variety of shops, places to eat and drink, sitting areas at predictable intervals and a pretty diverse cross section of the nearby population to watch, teens, kids in strollers, babes in arms - that sort of thing.
All of those things can lift spirits. Which is something we all need from time to time, yet - in this case, I'll state it bluntly - my mother in law has begun just about every day this week with tears. I mean, waking up in the morning, not just softly crying - SOBBING. More often than not, she doesn't know why she is crying. When she can articulate the reason for her tears, it can be that she's sadly recalling her mother or some distant childhood memory. The theory that long-term memory is more easily accessed as one ages is spot on. Today she was crying for her mom. So I knew I needed to provide a distraction and given the weather, to the mall I had to go.
The fact that this moment of service came to me as a "must-do", did not diminish the impact it had. I put my needs aside for these few hours to dress her, bundle her, put her in the car, walk her around the mall etc... and in the end, I felt better too.
There is a subtle shift inside when we serve others. There is a sense of calm and gratitude that comes over me knowing that I did something for her. Now I know that she will most likely not remember it the next day or even a couple of hours later - but I will.
Every nice thing we do for someone else builds good Karma. One translation of this word means "action" and because actions have consequences, it makes sense that most people think about Karma in the sense of it being an accounting for all the good and bad you have done in your life.
Without getting too bogged down in the idea of what Karma is and is there any such thing as a selfless good deed since we know there is such a thing as Karma, I would like to state for the record that even though I LOATHE malls, my most recent trip to one was extremely rewarding.
However - recently I visited a mall. I drove myself there! I volunteered to go! I spent a good two hours there.
I went there for a couple of reasons, I needed lint roller refills and a mall is a great place to take an elderly person for a walk in the cold of winter.
My mother-in-law, who has lived with us since 2006 and has needed care on an ever-increasing level since about 2010 - needed the walk. This day in particular (January in New Jersey) it was seasonably cold, but for a 94 year old - it is bitter enough to keep one indoors. So no stroll around the neighborhood was appropriate - she needed an indoor venue to stretch her legs, see other people and maybe get a treat.
All of those things can lift spirits. Which is something we all need from time to time, yet - in this case, I'll state it bluntly - my mother in law has begun just about every day this week with tears. I mean, waking up in the morning, not just softly crying - SOBBING. More often than not, she doesn't know why she is crying. When she can articulate the reason for her tears, it can be that she's sadly recalling her mother or some distant childhood memory. The theory that long-term memory is more easily accessed as one ages is spot on. Today she was crying for her mom. So I knew I needed to provide a distraction and given the weather, to the mall I had to go.
The fact that this moment of service came to me as a "must-do", did not diminish the impact it had. I put my needs aside for these few hours to dress her, bundle her, put her in the car, walk her around the mall etc... and in the end, I felt better too.
There is a subtle shift inside when we serve others. There is a sense of calm and gratitude that comes over me knowing that I did something for her. Now I know that she will most likely not remember it the next day or even a couple of hours later - but I will.
Every nice thing we do for someone else builds good Karma. One translation of this word means "action" and because actions have consequences, it makes sense that most people think about Karma in the sense of it being an accounting for all the good and bad you have done in your life.
Without getting too bogged down in the idea of what Karma is and is there any such thing as a selfless good deed since we know there is such a thing as Karma, I would like to state for the record that even though I LOATHE malls, my most recent trip to one was extremely rewarding.
So while I had an intention for the fruit of my action to be a mood boost (she was singing to herself on the drive home, so mission accomplished) my "yoga off the mat" gave me the freedom to do something nice for myself later. Tired from our lap and a half around Garden State Plaza, she was content to eat lunch in her room, watch TV and doze off. This gave me ample time to take a class at my nearby studio AND stay for a cup of tea after class ended to chat with some regulars there.
A win-win.
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