My Intention

What is my intention for teacher training?

As I sit here listening to the “Deva Premal” station on Amazon music, it dawns on me how much yoga has infiltrated so much of my life. I choose to play the music I’ve come to know in the studio for enjoyment - I commonly listen to this station while I perform housework, walk my dog or carry out tasks associated with caring for my 94 year old mother in law.

The dharma talks I’ve heard throughout the past five years or so or practicing at Powerflow have infiltrated my life as well - much in the way music can stick in one’s head. I can still recall hearing Jeff Scios say - you may one day discover you don’t want to eat meat anymore because it will conflict with the notion of non-harming.

How true this became for me, as I switched to a vegetarian diet and am now mostly vegan when I can control it best at home.

I know that I lack patience at times. I see defects in the way I react to things. I have become a better observer of my thoughts and there are moments when I can choose differently so that I’m behaving in a way that is non-harming to myself and to others. I still have many challenges to overcome in this area.

How do these reflections pertain to my intention for teacher training? I think they show a desire and a willingness to allow yoga to continue infiltrating more parts of my life. 

I seek a higher, more evolved understanding of how yoga can serve to support goal-setting, consistency of thought, clarity of mind and a perception of the oneness of humankind. I want to unlock my creativity and tap into stories that have been buried deep inside. If I can channel my teaching in such a way that it helps others cope with their own difficulties too, I have succeeded. 

I’ve talked with yoga teachers at length about their journey to teach. The answers are varied, yet many have expressed the feeling, “it saved my life” - showing the massive impact teacher training can have. While I want to have such a pivotal experience, I want to remain open to what will happen organically. I choose to allow change in myself, my body and my mind so that I can receive the gift that is yoga and be able to fully share it with others.

I do not struggle with any sort of addiction that I need saving from - however - I tend to doubt myself, my talent, my voice. This tendency hampers me in relationships and in my professional life. I want to move away from that and from the things that do not serve me or my family. I want to move toward a place where I can choose my words with intention and authentically represent myself to others in a way they will never doubt my sincerity and love.

I have broken relationships. I have been part of hurting others. I want to forgive myself and my part in those events. I want to find the courage to heal, to allow space and to move forward.

Creeping doubt just entered my thoughts in the form of - is this intention too long, too scattered? How do I distill it all into a phrase? I suppose I can just say, I want to be more me after teacher training - my true self - I want teacher training to help me find her.