The Universe Within Us - Our Mighty Brain

There is really very little that is different between caring for a toddler and caring for an elderly person. Moms of toddlers - hell - parents and caregivers all the way to include the daycare workers know they can and will cry themselves to exhaustion. I was sort of spoiled by my even-tempered child who (to my memory) had one tantrum in public at a grocery store. I operated on the idea of anticipating needs and getting her to communicate early on to thwart any issues. I highly recommend sign language for babes before they're verbal (thanks to my sister for teaching my little girl the sign for "more" when she wasn't even a year old). The above picture is the closest representation of my receiving any kind of sass from her as a youngster.

When those methods fail, many turn to distraction methods, rewards, threats, ignoring the cries - all to varying degrees of success.

Those who care for the elderly also know that crying is a common occurrence as aging continues. For my own part, I've seen how distraction works, rewards do not and threats most certainly fail.

We have reached the point in my mother in law's life where everything is temporary. Her short term memory is completely shot. Within twenty minutes of telling her something, you'll need to repeat it. Very often it takes even less time for that to happen.

The distractions work only in the moment. No other experience in my life has taught me "everything is temporary" more vividly than that of caring for my husband's mother. We used to say she'd have one good day and you could put money down that the next day would be bad. But at least you got that good day. The whole day.

Now it is maybe an hour at most where the effect of "good times" last.

She can spend hours with family at a party, be taken out for a walk or a meal, to have her nails done or what have you and within an hour of that activity concluding, she's in tears. Crying for what? I've asked the question more times than I can count - rarely do I get an answer.

Her misery is so powerful it springs up ever more frequently as time passes. It is so sad to see someone at the end of her life, living in such pain. I fully realize she does not have a choice in this mental decline and depression. Maybe years ago, she would have - but we'll never know now.

A healthier, younger person would though. It is important to make an effort to focus on the happy times. To tap in to a way to control our thoughts so that they point to things that bring us joy. She defaults to sadness - so I guess what I'm noticing is that is important to create the grooves or patterns in the brain that will foster a default to happy when other systems fail.

My life experience and more specifically and pertinent to this blog, my yoga practice has taught me that. Recently, I listened to a very interesting On Being podcast "The Drugs Inside Your Head" that delved into the "placebo effect" and the power of the mind to help aid in healing.  Eric Vance, a science writer and reporter has studied how the healing power of stories, the "theater of medicine" and things we believe are closely connected to the body's ability to heal. His upbringing, rooted in Christian Science gives him a unique perspective on this concept.

Most pharmaceutical treatments can't go on the market today without beating the placebo effect. That is the definition of a drug that works, by the way, and the practice of qualifying efficacy has only been in place since 1962. I'm not suggesting that one could think away a tumor - but when modern medicine began conducting placebo trials, they were able to eliminate 1,000 drugs - because they didn't outperform placebos.

Vance says that is because the brain is - at its most simple level - a prediction machine. The brain is constantly working to create a map of how the world works, based on experiences that it has logged. The core reason why placebos work is the fact that the brain EXPECTS them to.

That's the key. The expectation. We all have the ability to engage the placebo effect. Whether it is on our mood or our pain - we can expect happy things, joyful things, and there will be an effect. Become aware of those thoughts first, so you can work to change them.

Even the simple act of smiling lifts spirits. Creates those happy brain grooves.

Give it a try.