Enough already

At what point do hardships go beyond a tolerable limit?

People love to throw that quote, made famous in the movie "Steel Magnolias" - "that which does not kill us, makes us stronger" when going through a hard time... myself included in that group of "people". The nugget of truth in this little phrase is that - yes, going through rough stuff can help you be a stronger person in the future.

The human ability to cope with stress, trauma and pain continues to astound me. I remember hearing about the unearthing of music composed by prisoners in Nazi death camps and being moved to tears at the very notion. People who faced certain mistreatment and neglect, if not eventually death, found a way to make music. You can hear some of the pieces and learn about the efforts to preserve and perform them here and here and here.

In no way am I equating day to day life struggles with the concentration camp experience.

I will say though, that everything is relative - meaning that if what you are going through qualifies as a struggle, then that's what it is. Maybe you have a sick relative or loved one to care for. It could be that you are the one who is ill. Perhaps you are dealing with a challenging relationship or a work project is presenting obstacles. Your dishwasher broke. The transmission on your car needs replacing. The cat needs surgery. (mine doesn't right now, thank God)

It kinda doesn't matter whether the thing you're managing is a first world problem or not, because it is your experience of the thing.

We do tend to glamorize the ability to muscle through things and force our way out of a tough situation. Yet, not all predicaments require a hardened reaction. In fact, how you choose to deal with a rough ride can make all the difference.

Be among others. Solitude is not your friend when you are suffering in any way, shape or form.

Ask for help. See if you can get support from others who have gone through something similar.

Breathe mindfully. Noticing the breath and lengthening the inhales and exhales can give you the space to notice your own thoughts.

Take a yoga class. (you didn't think this list would not include yoga, now did you?) Sure you can practice at home, but being among others - see item 1 - in a yoga environment can really make a huge difference in your mindset. Getting lost in a meditative flow is one of my favorite ways to reset and recharge my inner engine. Just ask my family how calm I am when I haven't managed to take a class in a few days.

The biggest takeaway is to remember that you will survive this. Everything is temporary.