Fifty is the new [blank]

Good grief. Remember the amount of outcry over the Super Bowl halftime show? Those were the good ol' days! Feels as if that all happened years, not mere weeks ago. Understandably the scandal/fervor/obsession with it all has died down which means it is safe for me to stir the pot once again by bringing it up.

But I'm adding different spices to this particular pot. I'm not going to address the "racy" "too sexy" "not appropriate for kids" part of it all. I have my own opinions about that - which I'm not fixing to impose upon you. Suffice it to say that I have - in my 18 years of motherhood - had a much easier time explaining sexuality which is NORMAL and OKAY in all its forms to my child than I have had trying to help her understand other issues in the world today. For example, misogyny, violence, hatred, racism, inequality... just to name a few.

Thanks once again to the On Being podcast, I recently got some insight into how wonderfully our evolutionary path has set older women up to become valuable resources for our babies, children and teenagers and fellow human beings. Alison Gopnik, professor of psychology and philosophy at UC Berkeley says she understands babies and children as the R&D (research and development) division of humanity. I love this phrasing and characterization.

How many times do we look to children for a way to reset what's important? How often does the laughter of a child bring us into the present moment to experience that joy? Even if a child of your own is not nearby, seeing a smiling baby or young child in the grocery store rarely fails to bring a smile. I remember Brianna being that "Princess Sunshine" (as dubbed by her Queen Mimi) for strangers.

If we agree that the purpose of children is to help us reset and learn about purity of human existence, my approaching my fiftieth birthday leads me to ponder a sense of purpose for my life. Where am I most useful? How do I enrich my community and the lives of the people around me?

The Super Bowl show, which I will admit to not watching even one frame of - presented people with an image of a fifty year old woman who (judging by the outcry) did not shy away from her sexuality. There were other aspects of the show, political statements, cultural inclusion and empowering messages too. But the sight of an older woman looking sexy made people uncomfortable.

Why?

Is it because older women can no longer bear children and are therefore without purpose? No longer have sexual appeal? Can they not contribute to our society? There's an inclination to think of the power of human existence as something that peaks at a young age and diminishes with time.

Gopnik's talk during the On Being podcast taught me that the post-menopausal time of life was at one point thought to be unique to humans. Only three female animals in the natural world live beyond their childbearing years. Humans, short-finned pilot whales and Orca. Studies of Orca show that post-menopausal members of a whale pod have a significant impact on the viability of its younger members. If a male Orca's mother dies before his thirtieth birthday, he was three times more likely to die the next year. That rate of dying the year after she died increased to eight times more likely if the mother had lived past the offspring's thirtieth. Offspring of female Orca that die in their post menopausal years were FOURTEEN times more likely to die the following year.

Post menopausal females have value in the Orca pod because of their knowledge gained throughout their life experience. They know where the salmon are most plentiful - the longer they live, the more they know and can pass on to the rest of the pod. As we move through our lives, we humans experience many things - and so it makes sense that with age comes wisdom. Older women as individuals have a sexuality, have a voice about issues and have something to offer.

Speaking for myself only - I will admit that the idea of reaching the age of fifty still takes time to settle in my mind. Yet, I know that where I am as I enter this fiftieth year - in my emotional, mental and physical planes of existence - is healthier.

I have taken steps to add to my own experience-gained wisdom by challenging myself to learn new things. By stepping outside my own comfort zone and into the role of yoga teacher I have opened myself to finding new purpose, new ways to serve others and an outlet to express myself. Even the consistency with which I'm approaching writing for myself is in part, thanks to my own "feeling right" in my own skin.

So fifty is the new [blank]. I choose the word. I choose to have value. I choose to offer my humble wisdom. I choose to enrich my community and the lives of people around me.