Balance is a Moving Target

How many times in my life have I uttered the title of this post?

Balance is a moving target.

I say it all. the. time. If I had a nickel. The idea of balance can change depending on the person seeking it, what they want from equanimity (which implies a hierarchy of needs) Balancing in the physical body is not the same as balancing the duties of work and home. Whether it is physical or symbolic, balance is an ever-moving target. 

Today I'm balancing my first real sign of my age from a medical perspective. I have now had my first colonoscopy. I've been to a cardiologist. All's good in the hood, by the way. Through blurred vision, I'm writing this post because of today's medical visit that has to do with my vision. Makes sense that I now have an annual checkup for my eyes as they've been my weakest sense since I was two years old. Yep. I was the kid in glasses in nursery school. (they called it nursery school in Virginia where I grew up) Mind you, I don't think I wore them until like age four. Glasses growing up was not super fun - I've been called "four eyes" and tried to play it back at the bully and be like, yeah, well FOUR is more than TWO so I'm BETTER than you. And then I'd go cry. Look I had buck teeth and glasses and can remember mean girls telling me that the "new" thrifted top or jacket was hers and her family donated it last year. Glasses at an early age just laid the groundwork for lots of yucky. But I digress.

I have extreme nearsightedness, myopia - is the medical term - and stretched retina as a result. My beautifully blue-eyed daughter, B, shares this feature with me and has already had some medical intervention to keep her eyes healthy. I'm on the "keep checking on it" program in place right alongside her.

For B, age isn't a factor. For me, it is.

Today it occurred to me the weirdness of the place I'm in - aging-wise. I'm aging. We all are! But I'm dealing with advanced aging AS I'M AGING. The worst "coming attractions" trailer ever, so to speak.

So I'm balancing (metaphorically speaking) between those two places. Surrounded with the reality of aging for Anita and my own realities of aging.

So. Much. Fun.

You know what else is fun? Arm balances. Yes, they're fun even if you "can't do one" because trying them is fun. Bear with me. 

I'll tell you why I teach arm balances - when you're arm balancing, that's all you're doing. You're not making a grocery list or pondering the subtext of your weird colleague's last email. You're focused. And it is fun.

I practice arm balances for the same reason. They help me focus. And isn't that what you need to do to get that moving target in your sights? Focus.