Teaching from the Gut

Today was another practice teaching day in my teacher training program. In the past - the days leading up to my "practicum" - found me anxiously mumbling sanskrit to myself, repeating the sequence out loud to whomever would listen, most often to my dog. He is not at all skilled in yoga, but is a great and loving motivator nonetheless.
This time, I didn't really do all of that. I get a big memory boost from writing out the sequence, so I did that, multiple times. Like four or five pages worth. I felt ready and comfortable with knowing the order of the poses, but hadn't really spoken the cues aloud.

Perhaps that's why I got a rush of nervous adrenaline when it came time for me to lead my group in the sequence. I had a couple of mental blank out moments and nearly skipped part of the sequence, but all in all, felt pretty good about the way it went.

I mean, I have practiced the poses in this particular sequence enough times to know how they're supposed to feel. I can hear past teachers in my head giving cues to deepen, align and correct the pose as I practice alone in my living room. After five solid years of practice, I can say I still have so much to learn, but I do already know some stuff.

What I heard in my head right before I volunteered to lead the group was the advice from one of my teachers after the last group took their practicum. She told more than one of our trainees to own it. Be confident in what we know. I drew more on my experience this time around than new information. It felt scary - but good at the same time.



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