Breaking News: the Nerves are Setting in

I practice teach this Thursday - the class I've been preparing to give since January, when Teacher Training began.

Of course, each section of the sequence we've taught has been a challenge and I have felt nervous just prior to those moments. I feel pretty good about knowing the entire class sequence. I've practiced it myself dozens of times and actually taught it to groups of people five times, thanks to the Karma Yogi Project/Assignment.

I. AM. NERVOUS.

But it is not the thing you might imagine that is making me feel nervous.

I have decided to share something I was inspired to write about my fellow trainees, my experience in teacher training, at the close of my class on Thursday. It is this thought that sets my heart racing.

How strange that the thought of sharing something I've only been doing for a matter of months does not give me butterflies in my stomach - but sharing something I've written, does?

I have been making my living as a writer for nearly two decades now. I'm pretty confident in my ability to structure a sentence, a paragraph, a social media update, a news story, a blog post... I've interviewed hundreds of architects, architectural firm principles and even donned hard hats to visit construction sites in my role as blog editor for an architectural software company. 

I've handled breaking news in the newsroom of several different major network affiliates in Manhattan. The picture below was not taken during breaking news, obviously - but shows me working with an editor getting ready for a newscast that was probably way closer to air than our calm expressions reveal.
I made some amazing friends in newsrooms - the stress of that job is one thing I do not miss AT ALL, but I definitely miss the people. For sure, we all connected on a level beyond just colleagues - being together in a high intensity environment can have that affect on people
This piece of writing is different. It is deeply intimate - because of the connections I've made in teacher training. It shares my inner thoughts and spiritual feelings about what I've been privileged to have been through over these last four months. It is creative rather than technical or dry as a portion of a newscast or press release should be.

But part of my goals for myself in enrolling in teacher training was to awaken my creative writing and find inspiration in a way that I have not before.

Just the act of writing these blog posts has done that - but immersing myself in yoga, the philosophy, the breath work, the deep conversations with the beautiful souls who are in my class do it on a much deeper level.

When I read the piece to my daughter and husband - they were both impressed by it - saying "I wouldn't change a word" and "how did you just 'get inspired' to write that?". The piece did just come to me over a period of days during which my fellow trainees and teachers reached a new level of connection. One of us experienced the death of a friend - and I saw how beautifully everyone rallied around her to offer comfort and support. We all have shared details of our lives, the challenges we face, the doubts we have and how happy we all are to have each other now.

It has been a beautiful experience. And so, even as the thought of doing so sends my heart rate up, I will share what I wrote for these wonderful women. In a way - it is the least I can do to thank them for what they have given me. I will work to calm my nerves as I prepare to share multiple "somethings" - my newfound ability to lead a yoga class and my burgeoning creative writing abilities.

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