Give it time

You cannot force someone to understand a message they are not ready to receive.

But you can keep offering the message. Be consistent.

I've been teaching yoga for a little more than two months (since receiving my certification in April of 2019). Each month - yes, I know it has only been two - I have offered a "theme" for my classes.

In June it was "practicing happiness" or finding peace even when things don't quite produce optimal conditions for happiness. This theme had more to do with what was going on in my life than the pose of the month or any aspect of yoga philosophy I've learned.

In July - I shifted my theme to "finding the balance between control and surrender". This theme idea came to me in part from the pose of the month offered at the studio where I teach most often. Dancer Pose or Natarajasana is a pose that calls on the yogi to lift up as she grounds down. To open the front body while bending the back body. There are many opposing actions in Dancer Pose that mimic the concept of control and surrender. One must be in balance to stand on one leg and lift the other behind her - more opposing actions.

July is a month during which I'm reflecting on many other areas of my life outside of yoga where I need to control and surrender. It isn't a new concept - I've been aware of my desire to control things as I took on the oh so lovely rite of passage role of teaching my daughter to drive. Sitting in the passenger seat, I LONGED for control. There is no steering wheel or brake on the passenger side.

Then she had her 18th birthday. Somehow she reached this age without my having aged a day! She's legally an adult. There are many things she no longer needs my permission for. (she wants a tattoo) She can vote. She can sign legal documents.

I need to surrender to this reality in spite of wanting to exert control on things she chooses or experiences in her adult life.

Believe me, dancer pose is WAY easier.

Yesterday, though, I got some evidence that some of my past "control" has managed to make its way into her mode of thinking and operating as her own person. She took a trip to the beach with some friends to celebrate her birthday. Drove herself and a group down to Asbury Park and spent the day. On the way home, sudden thunderstorms created some heavy downpours. I knew they were already on their way back because one of her friends had texted to give me that update. I reached for my phone so that I could suggest - please pull over if the rain becomes so heavy that you can't see out the windshield.

At that moment, my phone rang and it was my daughter.

Calling to inform me that she'd pulled over because the rain was so heavy it was dangerous to drive.

So the message, at least one of them, had gotten through. She received it and applied it so that she and her friends would be safe.

I hung up and smiled.

My surrender of control didn't mean I wasn't there. She had received my message of safety.