On Clarity

I meant my message to be clear.
I'm pretty sure I saw the words as they tumbled from my mouth as I'd intended.
All in the right order.
Repeating myself, being redundant, I've often said this message to you.
Sometimes - every time - daily, I don't know if the meaning got through.

Instead what I meant got lost.
It was all mixed up and confused.
Maybe I should use Pig Latin.
Ut-way oo-day oo-yay ink-thay?
Instead I got it backwards.
How did I screw it up so badly, did I jumble the letters wrong?
Where's that damned decoder ring?

Perhaps I wasn't being clear.
Maybe I wasn't being real.
I might have left my mask in place.
I know that I was being vulnerable.
I spend my time just being.
Being here.

I ask you now, with no hidden intent, nothing vague - no decoding needed.
Will you hear now what I say?

Do you know how much I miss you?
Can you hear it in these words?

Or will this message be too blurry - with nothing gained from these written lines

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